Funny things my wife says...

Overheard in the car this evening:

Goobs: What's that mommy? (pointing to the ploom of white that is a jet trail in the sky)
J: It's jet poop.

That was the funniest thing I had heard in a while. Just thought I'd share that one with everyone.

Crabby is as crabby does

I sort of lifted the title of this post from Forest Gump, but I thought it was applicable today. Everyone here at the office is out of sorts and none of us want to be here today. My goal, as I see it, is to stay calm and controlled in my cube and not stir up anything. I think if one of us started anything, the others would be like a pack of pirannahas gashing out hunks of flesh until the offending party is nothing but a pile of bones. The girls and I are just plain touchy today. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that we have an extended day here at El Rancho Ai. It's orientation for new spring students and that starts at 5:00 and runs until 8:00 this evening (thank God I'm not teaching evening ESL classes this week!). Sooooo...it's a long day and I have to be exceptionally nice, since my job involves meeting new students and setting up class schedules with them. Somebody slap me and make me pleasant now!!!

On the home front...The Bun loves her princess bike, but her older brother took to riding it around inside the house that first 24 hours that we had it (it was too snowy to use it outside, so we brought it inside for her). This really irked the bun and she had a few fits of crying, but she's the tough one out of the two, so she got over it. Speaking of her toughness, I want to give a little of it to Goobs. The Bun has been a bit naughty these last few days. We have reports from daycare that she's hitting him and pulling his hair. I hope he's just being a good big brother by not fighting back since he's so big compared to her. She's becoming more bold about it though and I think Goobs needs to show her that it's not appropriate. I think he needs to give her a little bit of a smackdown...not hard, but just enough to say..."Hey!!! Stop doing that crap because it hurts!" I talked to J about it and she kind of thinks that way too. We'll have to see what happens with the two of them.

And...enough of this winter crap. I am itching to get out the grill and start my outdoor cooking passion. We've got a little ipod docked stereo I can take outside now and just jam to tunes and grill. I am really missing the scents of spring and summer...with my grill. Time for me to dust off my tongs and spatula. I want to get an apron this summer so I can look a little more professional. One of the things I want to do buy a chef's jacket from the bookstore here. I've been the advisor to the culinary students for two years now and I've never gotten a chef's coat. With an apron and a white coat...I would feel soooooooo coooooooooooool!!!

Newsflash

We interrupt your previously scheduled program to give you a quick news update. The man known as Samok Daddy was seen leaving a store with a small pink and white wheeled vehicle. he brought it home to the squeals of an unidentified little girl. We'll let you know more about the incident later this evening, but for now...here's Wheel of Fortune...

The Easterbasket Detox

Just a few housekeeping notes as they relate to some prior posts. We held off on the princess bike for the Bun since we had a blizzard on Friday. I think she was cool with it because she didn't run around too overly much asking for the princess bike. We did get to play outside in the snow. The kids weren't too hip on making your generic snowman. Rolling snowballs and making them large enough for body parts didn't seem to interest them. Those kids decided that building a volcano made out of snow seemed far more pragmatic and fun. The volcano turned out pretty cool and the four of us had a small snowball fight.

I did some of my homework on Friday and finished it up on Saturday. I actually had fun doing it. I'm not getting the fact that homework is now fun. I was the guy who used to make up symptoms of illnesses to get to the nurses office on a regular basis so I could skip out of tests or to avoid homework. Ferris Bueller had nothing on me. I loathed doing schoolwork and would come up with elaborate schemes and lies to accomplish goals of not dealing with any kind of assignment. So, what happened? Now, I'm excited to get to the homework and I won't put down an assignment until I'm sure that I've done my utmost. Is it age...have I changed...what's the deal? All I know is that I am having fun with it all. The karmic wheel has indeed turned. I wonder how my kids will relate to their teachers and how they'll feel about learning.

Yesterday was Easter. I had been sugar free and had been doing quite well. I fell off of the sugar wagon hard yesterday. I think I OD'd on malted milk balls, whipped cream and jello, M&Ms, and some other crap-besides the ham, mashed potatoes, deviled eggs, corn, and asparagus. My body responded to the sugar...initially, it was elation, but it was soon followed by an awful feeling of bloated lethargy. I made the drive home okay, but I think I felt worse later in the evening. I finally got to sleep and got up early and went to the gym. I'm detoxing and I'm slowly feeling better today. I think it's going to take a few days to do it.

Easter was fun for the kids...we did fill up their Easter baskets...not to the degree to we did last year. The kids got sleeping bags made for the livingroom and a tent...which we did put up in front of the TV. They got a new DVD also. It wasn't the best animated flick on the planet...but Open Season wasn't too bad. The Bun saw a picture of a porcupine on the front of the DVD case. She's decided that the movie is about a porcupine. She can't pronounce porcupine, but she does the best that she can. She calls the movie "perkyfine." Although we didn't have time to watch a video this morning, she asked repeatedly for "perkyfine." We'll probably have to watch "perkyfine" a few more times this week. Oh well...it'll be fun. Gotta run. Hope everyone is perkyfine this morning!!!

Princess Bike

Last fall Goobs and I went to Wally World (the evil Wal-Mart) and picked out a bike with training wheels. It was (and still is) his first bike. He was so excited that I think he about peed his pants when we were leaving for the store. If you remember from my previous posts, Wally World is less than 200 meters from our place, so it's not that much of a trek to get there. We walked over and went to the bicycle section. There were quite a few bikes with training wheels and made for a kid his size. I looked at more of the generic looking bikes, but he fixed his attention on a bike with "Spider Man" all over it. I thought it looked a little tacky, but he was determined that we was going to get that Spider Man bike. I tried to show him the value of some of the other bikes, but that effort was in vain. Goobs really really really wanted that Spider Man Bike, so I relented and we snipped off all of the price tages and labels, wheeled it out, (yes, we got a helmet too) and we took the long way home. He was really excited to ride a real bike with training wheels.

Cut away to now...It was a little warmer last weekend. I was really busy last weekend, but I took a little time on Saturday because the Spider Man Bike had a problem with the rear brake. I, by nature, am about as handy as a rock. Luckily, this chore was something that even a non handy guy like myself could fix. You know, it's kind of cool when your son looks up to you after you've fixed one of his toys. You really feel like "Dad." Well, it was still chilly on Saturday, so he just took the bike out on our small deck. He didn't have any room with the bike, but he still had fun. The Bun was out there too, since she wants to be with her brother a lot of the time. Well, she became pretty jealous of the Spider Man bike. She tried to grab it and said "My Spider Man bike!" We had to tell her that it was her brother's bike...we did tell her that she would get a "princess bike" and mommy and daddy would get it for her. Since then, she's been running around jabbering about "princess bike." I came home late earlier this week and J announced to me that daddy was going to take the Bun out to buy her "princess bike" on Friday. Both of us have the day off on Friday, so it's a perfect day to get it. The Bun isn't very big...she's very small for her age. She still tips the scales at right over 20 pounds, so this is not going to be a very big vehicle. J has found a pink and white "big wheel" online at Target. I think we'll end up getting that for her. It's going to be interesting with both kids rolling around...

On another note...Back in my younger and far wilder days in the military, I sat down at a tattoo shop and got a little ink done on my left shoulder. It's discreet and no one gets much of a look at it unless I'm swimming or laying around at home in my gym shorts. Goobs, of course, has seen it quite a bit. About a week ago J started laughing and told me that I should know that Goobs has been announcing to his peers, preschool teachers, and daycare provider that his daddy has a tattoo. I suppose that's why he's been writing on himself with pens lately. You know, I have had the urge to get another tattoo, but that kind of stopped me in my tracks. I think I'll put off the thought of another tattoo for later...

Fruit, fruit, fruit...

Okay...so in this effort to change my diet, I went to the grocery store and went a little crazy on fruit last night. I got mangoes, bananas, apples, pears, and a pomelo. The pomelo is my all time favorite fruit and I ate it all right when I got home last night. The thing that sucks about it is that they are expensive and I only got one...I got a buttload of the other fruit and I will definitely eat all of the other stuff, but I WANT ANOTHER POMELO NOW!!! In fact, I want a giant bag of pomelos. I would like to be in a room of pomelos...a warehouse room of pomelos. Ya kind of get the feeling that I've got a little bit of an addictive personality???

So Happy it's Wednesday

Wednesday...Midweek...Humpday....that time where you can actually see the weekend coming...Yup...that's today. Luckily, we've got Good Friday off and students won't be around for a week after that, so I'm feeling a little bit better. I don't have to teach in the evenings next week, so I'm really excited for a short break of sorts. I'll still have to be here at my primary job, helping students get back into school by writing letters of appeal to the Dean. I'll have to get a new spread sheet set for the upcoming quarter, but honestly that won't take too long. Yes, the sun is shining and there's a rainbow out there.

The Bun was quiet and well behaved this morning. J's got this glider chair and ottoman set up near the kitchen that's her "morning coffee chair." She and the Bun were sitting there this morning as J got her morning java hit. I rolled out of the bedroom at about 5:50 and Bun squealed "Daddy" and ran to give me a hug. The morning hug was just what dad needed. Aaahhhh, it's nice when your little girl runs to give you a hug. Goobs was pleasant again this morning and was really good about getting his boots and jacket to go. What a nice surprise this morning.

It's kind of funny...The Bun has started to sing Barenaked Ladies songs to herself. One of her favorite things to do is to go into her room, turn on her little boom box with the BNL's Everything to Everyone CD (she knows how to do that now) and bounce on her bed. She thinks she's a little trampoline artist. Goobs has been watching Diego and has imagined his belt to be a "rescue rope." I think he's trying to rescue stuffed animals...I kind of scolded him because the rescue rope went around his own neck (actually, I was wanted to appear angry and scare him). I just have awful fears about ropes or belts and necks of little kids... So, the kids are playing well. I have to admit they started pushing each other and yelling "Stop it!" to each other. I should have been serious and broken them up...but the last time they did that, I just hid behind the corner and giggle a little bit. They were such cute siblings fighting with each other. I have memories of that too, so I'm not too worried.

Well...back to work. That's all for today.

Bits and Pieces of Tuesday...

I'm feeling a little tired today. I think I'm recovering a little bit from the weekend. On Saturday, I did my lesson planning for the week and went to a St. Patty's Day gathering. The Bun was feeling under the weather, so she and J stayed home and Goobs and I went over to the party. I have to say that he was the perfect little gentleman. He sat on my lap at the table and ate ice cream while the adults chatted and laughed. Of course, he had his eye on the TV in the next room and would move back and forth because the "Incredibles" was on at the time. We left the gathering at 10:00 and drove home. We were about 5 minutes into the 20 minute drive home and I glanced back to see him in his car seat. He was completely wiped out. I had to carry him up to bed, take his clothes off, and put him under the covers. These are the times when I love being a daddy...of course, when he and the Bun are beneath the table wrestling at a restaurant...that's a another story completely. But, in the end it's all good. J told me that she was happy because she felt like the house was a mess, so after the Bun went to sleep, she steam vaccuumed the the dining room/living room and the front steps. She always likes it when there's no one underfoot and she can make her house nice...she's kicked me and the kids out before and done it...she always looks a whole lot happier when we return. To me it seems like a chore, but for her it appears to recharge her batteries-she has alone time (quiet too) when the Samok Daddy and the Samok kids are out of her hair. But...I think I've got to do something nice for her...
Getting back to why I was tired...I think I went off on a tangent there...I spent all of Sunday working on my assignments for Educational Law. It wasn't very exciting. I had to research a couple of Supreme Court rulings on students getting suspended (Goobs and the Bun better pray that they never get suspended) and write a legal brief (I think I'm kind of crappy at that) and answer an online question. I started in the morning and finished at about 6:30, just in time for dinner. I would like a day off from everything, but I think that won't come for a while. I just have to keep one foot in front of the other. I'll get home tonight about 6:30, eat dinner, play with the kids for a little while...get them ready for bed and J and I will have about an hour to ourselves before we crash. The thing that sucks about being this busy is that J is just as tired as I am. If I'm not home and working, she's taking care of the kids by herself, which I know, takes a hell of a lot out of her. She is the best...that's all I can say. If I whine about how tough it is, she basically tells me to shut up and keep going. There are a lot of folks who work hard for their families, so we're not unique. She's a good motivator. I can say this about us. I am proud that we are doing all we can to take care of our children. We are not rich, but we work very hard and will continue to do so.

On the good side of things...the Bun has not created a lot of noise early in the morning for the last few days. Yes, she has gotten up early, but there has been no ruckus for Cheerios or Fruit Loops. Goobs is as hard to get up as ever. He was crabby when I got him up to get dressed. I gave him his clothes this morning and he complained that, in his humble opinion, his pants didn't match his shirt. He got a new shirt and was happy. J and I wondered where he learned about clothese matching and style...my boy...the four year old fashion expert. I hope this discerning eye doesn't come back to bite us in the butts later on when he's a teenager.

It's a good day today. Who can complain when you've got a great family and a life like mine? It's a little bit of a hassle, but what the hell. It's sho' nuff interesting and it's never boring.

Happy Friday

I wonder if people are just too serious these days. It seems everything at work is "life and death" and we've got to get it done "yesterday." I found myself becoming way too sensetive and was cranky around coworkers from different offices this morning. My boss, the Dean, told me to relax and take a short walk outside to get some fresh air. I did that and it seemed to make things a little bit better...Maybe it's just me...I haven't had a candy bar in a couple of days now, so I could be having a "sugar" jones going on today. Maybe if I go get a quick hit on an Almond Joy I'll be in a better mood. I guess sugar is really like a drug.... If that's the case...I'll become a sugar dope fiend...I'll be on the sidewalk, asking anonymous folks for spare change so I can run in and get a quick high from a Snickers or Milky Way. You might find me hanging out in front of "Candyland" in downtown Minneapolis with a hat on the ground, singing campy love songs for quarters or the odd dollar bill. You might also find me with a rag and a windshield spritzer washing windows and sticking my hand in your open driver's side window for chocolate money. I haven't been that desperate yet, but who knows if I will or not...

On a different note...It's been an uphill battle trying to get Goobs to sleep in his own bed. I had to drag him back to his bed twice last night after he climbed in with us. I missed him the last time because I didn't wake up. He brought in a blanket and slept on the floor on J's side of the bed. We watched "The Nanny" on TV and she stressed that parents have to repeatedly bring kids back to their bedrooms until they "get it." Maybe we give up in the end-at 2 or 3 in the morning and just let him. It looks like right now that he's trying and won't give up until he sleeps in our room. My thought that is that he's four now and he needs to start sleeping in his own bedroom. I love that he wants to be with us, but I also want him to be an independent little boy, so I'm a little torn. It is nice to have him snuggle up next to me in the morning...since his younger sister is up and screaming for cheerios usually really early (I'm preferring Goobs' morning demeanor now to the Bun's loud Cheerio tantrums). The kid sleeping in mom and dad's bed thing isn't too earth shattering, so I'm not going to worry about it too much. I would, however, love to change the Bun's morning routine. Just for once I'd like her to sleep late instead of going into one of her pre-dawn cereal rants. We feed her well...we really do, but she still wakes up at 4:30 and howls for Cheerios or Fruit Loops. We are seriously wanting the little girl to amend her morning habits. We're working on it, but havent' found any tangible improvement as of yet.

We've got a party at one of our former coworker's places this weekend...a St. Patrick's bash. It should be interesting. It's not some wild office party, but a few folks getting together and having some food and relaxing together. I'm going to unleash the kids on my coworkers again. They see them about twice a year and don't get the full brunt of what it's like to be around a four year old and a two year old for a prolonged period of time. I think it's going to be a gas...but we can't stay that long since bedtimes prohibit that. Besides, I've got homework this weekend for my Educational Law class.

Something new

I have this coworker who has changed her life through her diet. She saw that I was being sort of spastic last week and took the time to slide a book on my desk. The book is rather small and I wanted to discount it but I picked it up and started reading it on the bus. It's called "Sugar Blues" by William Duffy and it was actually written quite a while ago. I checked the publishing date and it said 1975, so I guess it's got some staying power.

Anyway, I picked this thing up on the bus and it floored me. I've only read the first couple of chapters and it's challenging me on the way I've been eating all of these years. It really resonated with me last night. Late in the afternoon...before I went home, some folks from one of the baking classes brought pieces of cake down to our office. I snarfed a few pieces and immediately I felt a combination of buzzed and bogged down. It was an awful feeling...a quick flashback to halloween evenings or Christmas Eves in the past when I'd eaten way too much crap and had that combination feeling of blecccchhh and rotten. On the way home, I started to read the book and it started to make sense to me...I was feeling the results of what I ate and was understanding what was actually happening to me. The crap that I'm putting into my body is affecting me.

Here's the interesting part...after reading the book on the way home, I got home and there were some M&M's in a container on the counter. What did I do last night? I ate them and felt crappy again. How stupid was that?

So, here I am this morning. I've decided to try something new. I got some bananas for breakfast and I'm drinking water and having some herbal tea at work (the girls have craploads of tea here). I am making the effort...just for today (hmmm...where have I heard that before?) not to consume sugar. This is a beginning...just one day. I'm not worrying about tomorrow, but for today...no Good N' Plenties...no sneaking up to the bake lab and trying stuff...no mini peanut butter cups when I get home. I can't make any promises on tomorrow, but today I'm trying something new.

Language gaffe

How can I even claim to want to open a school for anyone who wants to learn English when I write stupidly..."Koreans that want to learn English..." Sorry...It should be Koreans "who" want to learn English...My bad...

I need to proofread my stuff before posting...arrrggghhhh...

A Tuesday daydream

So today is March 11th and the snow is beginning to melt here. I don't know, but this winter seems as if it's hung on longer than those of the past few years. Maybe it's because it's the year anniversary of our last vacation to the Philippines coming up this Saturday. The only thing we've done since then is a short trip to Detroit. Yes, the trip was refreshing at the time, but I'll tell ya what...I've been sitting on the commuter bus, closing my eyes and visualizing myself under a palm tree wiggling my toes in the sand.
Here I am bitching again about living in Minnesota...land of the deep freeze and tater tot hotdish. Granted, the schools are good, the neighboorhood we're in is safe, family friendly, and clean, but there's something missing for me. There's not a whole lot of adventure in the land of lime jello and buttered dollar buns with ham. It is nice here, but there's that little tickle in the back of my brain that says..."screw it, move to the Philippines, start a school for Koreans that want to learn English, set up a few more businesses, open a diving shop, and start over...Hey, it's just money. It can be gained...it can be lost...but life is to enjoy and to be experienced. I know we're supposed to go to the Wisconsin Dells sometime in May for a couple of days and we'll go to the Black Hills in August...to take pictures of Mount Rushmore and see a real live buffalo, so there are some things planned... but I want to get away now...Far, Far, away. I guess dreaming on the bus isn't a bad way to pass the time, but jeez...the blue water and the warm winds are calling me again.

Monday again...this time it's not so bad.

If you saw comments in my last post you know that I guess I made a mountain out of a mouseturd. I was convinced that I had the big "C" down where I sit and I had weeks or months to live. I had a short exam by our family physician, who poked, prodded, and gave me a "prison contraband" check. Let's just say that he thinks I am pretty normal(as far as heath goes) for a guy in my mid-forties. He does insist that I have a colonoscopy, since I am about at that age where you should get one every so often. Since he isn't that concerned, I'm not having the procedure done until mid-April. The examination itself doesn't sound that bad, since they give you some good drugs and you're basically either out or so happy that you don't care they're up there taking pictures. The part that sounds bad is the lead up...I guess you have to drink some nasty concoction that really really cleans you out and you'd better not be very far from a bathroom at that time.
I am much more relaxed and have actually had a good weekend. I haven't obsessed over my own poop or my backside in a few days now...and that's pretty refreshing!

I don't know about you guys...but the beginning of Daylight Saving Time SUCKS!!! I couldn't sleep last night and morning came way too early. The Bun does like to get up early, sit on the kitchen floor, and scream about her desire for Cheerios. It wouldn't have been so bad, but this morning IT WAS DARK!!!

Okay...it is okay...I've got to stop whining and get my butt to my second job. Life is good and I'm a happy camper today...Hope everyone is enjoying themselves...

Put one foot in front of the other

I'm leaving the office in about 20 minutes to drive to the doctor's office. I had a nice morning with the kids...I shared some laughs as I got the Bun and Goobs dressed this morning. God's been good to me...I can't ask for more than J and those two balls of energy.

Okay... this is just part one of the process. So not much will happen today, but I'm still shaking in my boots. Time to go do it.

More thoughts

Samok Daddy the chickenhearted is checking in for the day. Tomorrow is the day that I see the doctor and he'll give me the referral to get the special examination that I need. I've shared what I'm doing with close friends, my spiritual mentors, and "the girls" in the office. Since we work in such close quarters, it's pretty obvious when one of us is off, so the girls deserve to know why I'm acting weirder than usual. They've been great and very supportive of me...all telling me that this is something I need to do. I alternate between being lighthearted and a scared little boy, who feels like he' s got the message to go to the assistant principal's office and has to face the music for something he's done. J's been awesome and sat on the sofa with me last night and just let me rest on her and she stroked my head. You know I'll feel really stupid if this is a minor thing, but I guess I'm just not at peace yet.

I called my brother last night to talk to him. I trust him with this more than anyone. Right after he was married and when he and Connie were expecting their first child he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. He went through hell and had his colon removed. His internal plumbing has been reconstructed and he's led a normal life for many years. My symptoms don't reflect colitis, but since this is basically the same area of concern, his words were comforting and bouyed me up. In the last few years Scott and Connie have truly deepened their faiths in God and I hear it in his voice over the phone when I talk to him now. He reiterated the "one day at a time" thinking that has really been a part of my life for quite a while-somehow it disappears when fear intrudes. He paraphrased the story of the "lilies of the field" to me and it made more sense. I can't worry and have to put everything in God's hands-he's got it all and he really does a pretty good job of taking care of things.

You know this might be a good experience. This may be life changing, whatever happens. Can I be looking at life in a different way now? What things need doing? What's important? Do I need to draw closer to God? These are all questions that seem to be swimming in my head right now. I guess it's time for me to ask God to throw me a life preserver...I think it's time for me just to hold on and let God pull me to the dock right now.

Not so lionhearted

It's Monday here again at the Samok ranch. Everybody is either back at work or in daycare-good thing. It's time to start back on a regular schedule again. This will be short today. I will be honest today and say that I'm a little nervous. I made an appointment with my physician by phone today. I'll be seeing him on Thursday. I've noticed a few things physically within the past few months and I'm tired of being an ostrich...hiding my head in the sand and hoping symptoms might go away. I won't go into detail at this time, but I find that I'm not as brave as I thought I was. I'm actually a pretty big chicken. It might be nothing and I might have lost a ton of sleep for nothing. Then again, if it is something a little ugly, I'm facing it and getting it treated. I talked to my mom (a retired nurse) about it and she said that it's appropriate for a man of my age to get these types of things checked out and visiting the doctor is a good thing. If it's such a good thing, why am I so damned frightened?