I am Mr. Electricity...

I never really bothered about static electricity in winter before. It was just a nonfactor in my daily life...but now, something seems to have changed with me. I guess it's just the dry air at home, on the bus, and in our building that combines to really get to me. By the time I get to my desk here at work, all my leg hairs are standing straight up and my pants are molded to my shins. My hair is defying the gel, which I am using to keep it down, and if you poked me with your finger, I'd probably give you the shock of your life.

So, as a remedy for that, I bought my first spray can of "static guard." The stuff is vile and my coworkers have asked me not to spray it in the office. So, I run into the bathroom to rid myself of the additional electricity I've accumulated while getting to work. The static on my legs was so bad the other day that I put the can down each of the legs of my pants and sprayed away. Just as I was spraying, one of the school's students walked in. He didn't say anything, but gave me a look that I was some sort of odd duck that should be avoided. I probably am an odd duck for spraying on the inside of my pants while still wearing them, but hey...the static went bye bye...and for that alone, I am truly happy.

Let's see...Am I in the Christmas spirit yet? I'm not sure...We've got the tree up and some presents wrapped. We've had some Christmas music going, but I don't feel it yet. Maybe I'll get a little more cheer in me this weekend. Right now, I kind of feel like I'm just going through the Christmas motions. Maybe I need to chew on a few candy canes and slug down some egg nogg. Perhaps I should throw some tinsel on my cube, put on a red santa hat and start singing carols in the office... I could bring in a cheese ball and give my office matess some goofy wassail-like punch...I might want to get some styrofoam antlers and a red bulb for my nose... The girls might think that I've lost my marbles... If I did anything to that degree, the lovely ladies in the bordering cubes might guess that the lone bearer of the male chromasome in the office has now slipped over the edge and gone completely completely yuletide bananas. If I did all these things...I could feel a little more christmassy...but then again...I could just be the guy with tinsel in his cube, a red nose, santa hat, and antlers... serving punch and cheese to coworkers. Right now, I haven't done a thing...but I just might. We'll see what happens.