I've been thinking lately about my kids and how I want to make sure they are aware of who they are as mixed race "hapa" kids. I realize we live in Minnesota (scandavian whitebread central) with only my side of the family being geographically "available" for the most part. By seeing my picture on this blog, readers are aware that I am the caucasian portion of the family mix. By that virtue, my family is as white and european as I am. Goobs and the Bun know Grandma and Grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins as white folks, who say goofy things just like in the movie "Fargo." We spend a lot of time with them and the kids love spending time with them. They have a blast as their cousins drag them around up and down stairs, in basements, bedrooms, playrooms,and through back yards. The grandparents live for those days when we drop by and they can supervise Goobs and the Bun for a little while. All of them live about an hour away, so we don't get to do it all the time, but we spend a great deal of time with them. I fear that the kids may only know the white/Minnesotan side of their wonderful background. But, I fear that is not enough...I really want my kids to know and embrace what it is to be filipino and part of that family experience.
Since we went back to Davao in March they've also gotten to meet lolas, titos, titas, and cousins. I was worried that two weeks wouldn't be enough for the kids to feel and embrace their filipinoness (is there such a word...I'm not sure). Since they sometimes take a little time to warm up to people they first meet, I was worried that some of the short time we had in Davao would be spent "warming up" to each other. Luckily, they fell right into the embraces of Lola and everyone else. It was fantastic. They became instantly attached to everyone. Their "Kuya Daniel" dragged them around just like their cousins back home. It was truly a wonderful vacation, especially for Goobs. I don't know if the Bun was old enough to really take it in, but it gave me those warm fuzzies regardless. Now, when J calls her mom every week or so, Goobs wants to talk to Lola. They have a short conversation and Goobs fills Lola in on the activities of that particular week. I know Goobs loves talking to her, and Lola would not miss talking to her apo (hey did I spell that correctly???). I know that the more that Goobs speaks with Lola, the stronger that bond will become. I am so glad that is happening. I know that the Bun will also do that, but we have to work on those communication skills just a tad more.
So, my kids have had a taste of it. But, I don't think it's enough. J does have family in Michigan also, but it's difficult for us to get out there. We will be going to visit her cousin and everyone else in Michigan in October, so we will get another bit of it then. I just think it's hard to embrace culture when you only get snippets of it through phone calls and short visits every year or two. I know that my kids are only four and two. There are events in the small filipino community here, but they are all the way across the city and it's hard to truck two small kids to these things. Even if we get to events, just having small kids makes it hard. we both work and find ourselves quite busy. I don't know how much time we'd have to network with other families in our situation. I don't know... Maybe we just need to wait a while to take part in these things. I have seen storybooks we can read to the kids. Perhaps that may be a good place to start. The Bun is beginning to talk more...we haven't had her address her brother as "Kuya." Maybe that might be a good place to start...Heck, I don't know. I guess I'm a little confused, but want to do the best for my kids. Any ideas???
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