4th of July Part Deux

Continuing on with the holiday at the Samok household...

This was the first time I've bought fireworks. When I was younger, my cousins would travel through South Dakota and get fireworks. Fireworks were considered illegal in Minnesota when I was growing up. My relatives would come back with roman candles, M-80's, cherry bombs, buzz bombs, and the ever popular black cats. We spent time blowing up garbage cans and making fresh cow poop explode. Gentrified city kids we weren't... From then until Christmas and New Years Eve in the Philippines in 2000-2001, I really didn't mess with any fireworks.

I remember having the most fun on New Years Eve. with paputok. J's family went out and got a whole bunch of "triangles" for that night. I had no idea what triangles were. When I first saw them, I thought they looked like the folded paper footballs I made and played with in junior high study hall. Of course they smelled of gunpowder and had large fuses. J's cousin had fashioned these great punks to use to light the triangles. They were actually old tree branches cut off with hollowed out smaller ends. He broke mosquito coils, shoved large, long pieces of them into the ends of the branches and lit them. The tips glowed red hot and were great for lighting the triangles at a distance. Triangles, I found, produce a surprisingly big bang for their size. I remember almost having to clean out my shorts when the first one went off. I must have jumped at least two feet. We spent the next hour or two lighting off the triangles we had. I hadn't seen my wife gleefully jump around and giggle before. It was as if I was seeing a new side of her...the bad girl that liked to make things go BOOM. Her neighbor a few doors down brought down a "Judas Belt" (a huge ass string of firecrackers that sound like a 50 Cal. Machine Gun) and lit that. Man...we had a lot of fun that night. Alas...that was the last night Davao has had people lighting off any kind of fireworks. Mayor Duterte has clamped down on it and now New Years Eve is quiet in Davao...BUMMER. It's safe, but quiet.

Well, anyway...Minnesota just has basic spark fountain fireworks. Goobs and I went to Wal-Mart to buy fireworks. We came away with a $30 box of them. I was pretty proud of my purchase until my neighbor told me that a guy in her sister's neighborhood spent $350 on fireworks...and after seeing what was going on Wednesday night, I think some folks dropped a grand on fireworks.

Well...I got the lawnchairs in the driveway. Popped the popcorn, and got everything set up. To ensure safety, I put the fireworks box on the patch of grass in front of our townhouse. My wife asked why I had set it there, and I replied that I didn't think the grass would burn. Well, I had blown off a couple of the smaller ones, when I encountered a big surprise. The automatic sprinklers that are strategically placed on our patch of grass elevated from the grass and began spraying. My fireworks were dead center in the middle of the patch...getting doused. I screamed and ran toward them. My wife was laughing and screaming at me to save the fireworks...I ran over, not without tripping, to the fireworks. I did get them. I was soaked from the spray. Luckily, the plastic covering that most of them had saved the day. We were able to blow all of them off. We were able to do this fairly well. J claims I'm a clod at lighting the fireworks and that she is much better at it. After she grabbed the punk, lined up her fireworks, and set them off, I have to agree with her. She's had a lot more experience blowing those things off. Although, I want more practice. Daddy wants to be the keeper of the fireworks for next year. I will be the gunpowder warrior next year. Luckily, my kids sat in their chairs and clapped as we lit them off.... they thought mom and dad were cool...I wonder how long that will last. If they were any older, they'd know dad is an uncoordinated dork, who can barely light fuses.